Monday, 24 May 2021

Wife narrates what family passed through after pilot husband lost job


A Nigerian business woman identified as Bunmi George has narrated how her marriage was tested when her pilot husband lost his job.

Bunmi George, the founder of Shredder Gang, told of how her husband, Kehinde George, called her while she was still abroad after the birth of their second son, to tell her that he had been laid off.

She wrote:

My husband lost his job a day after we named our second son.

I’m aware that people hardly share the complexities and struggle that comes with this union called marriage. And I’d say this off the bat if you don’t view marriage has a covenant, the series of my next posts aren’t for you. come back later πŸ˜‰

I like to give you a very balanced view but stories or lessons aren’t only mine to share so I must ask for permission. 

I was away with my family, about to have our second child, hubby wasn’t with me as he was with the first, no biggy as he had to work. We named our dear son OLUWATONI meaning “God Is enough” and two days later hubby sends me an email with his lay off letter. Like I just born last week and dem come sack you 9 days later πŸ˜³πŸ‘€πŸ™†πŸΏ.

Those emojis were my first reactions, especially because I KNOW how much my husband loved the work of his hands, anybody married to a pilot knows they are the second wife🀣 they just love being in the air, most pilots take immerse pleasure in what they do, I respect them so much!

That’s how I started crying oh, immediately called him on the phone. His first reaction was: oh no baby stop crying, this is a blessing!

I’m like πŸ§πŸ‘€ sure you are okay? He responded and assured me that he was fine. I believed him.

Little did we know we were about to walk an 11 month road of severe testings and fire. Everything will be tested. Him, I and the marriage itself.

When a man loses his job it’s almost like you have taken away his very essence. So instead of spending 3 months like i did when I had my first, I packed my load at exactly 4 and a half weeks and came home to my baby.

I was met with a small meeting a few days later. My husband decided we should sell one car, only 2 domestic staff could remain, excesses were about to be cut off.

I was like wooo wooo wooo calm down, we aren’t poor naaaaa shebi I’m working, he said that’s exactly why

me I can’t share car with you oh ogbeni, I will not go back to timetable with car. We were still struggling when he said the housekeeper who doubled as a cook should go tooπŸ™†πŸΏπŸ™†πŸΏ
I’m like what sort of arrangement is this kehinde? That one caused big fight because I told him.

I sincerely asked if all of this was necessary, we weren’t big spenders prior, we did only what was needed at the time. Why are you you removing all my comfort? Hubby said bunmi, these are peculiar times and we need to tighten our belts, we don’t know how long this would last.

Rather than scoff, complain and throw my own weight around, because I could afford it. I decided to submit to wisdom under the authority of Christ. When I’m not in submission to my husband I’m in rebellion against Christ.

I wanted to have the right perspective and do it in joy πŸ₯². People have less and are happy. I was determined that my captain knew what he was doing. I reached out to @secretplacewife as well to discuss some of my blind spots. She doesn’t mince words with me at all🀣

We started sharing my car because he sold his, I went back fully into the kitchen, he joined me in my work at ShredderGang.
Hubby will answer phone calls, take orders, deliver products to our clients. Nothing was too small for him to do.
He took on huge responsibility at home and at work while still looking for a job. The only salary he had was the one I was paying him.

It’s at this juncture, I want to talk about perspective, perspective is everything. How you SEE is crucial. In this time, we had a unified home, things were not where they should have been (they were exactly where they should have) we had a strong sense of purpose and direction. Were there times we overstepped boundaries, yesssss.. but listening to God first especially for me (I dey craze, sometimes) and then reconciliation.

SEASONS: this is a fact of life, every one will go through seasons, both individually and as a couple. Seasons are not meant to kill you, but to build you. I often look back on this time and see it as an organized testing. In a season of lack, we were abundant, in a season of confusion, we were at peace. In a season of drought, our valley was full. We had all we truly needed- each other. Because of a sense of purpose, vision and perspective.

God opened a lot of doors to work with multinationals and various cooperations across the nation. I was excelling and my husband was my biggest cheerleader, but It also meant I was busy at times. This particular day my hubby was home and I gone to speak at a multinational.

I take great pride in serving my husband’s food. Although he wasn’t really big on it, he can go to the kitchen and serve himself. So I had told the nanny what to do before I left- Boil rice, fry dodo, warm the stew.

I came home at about 5pm he hadn’t eaten, I hadn’t eaten as well, so I rushed to get my food while the nanny served his. Shortly after, he asked me – have you seen my food? I said yes why? He didn’t respond. After like 10 mins he said very calmly, baby please make sure there’s proper food in the house. She had served him some useless part of protein. And I hadn’t seen it

Me: Egbamiiiiii

Is it not rice and Turkey we are both eating?πŸ™„ I just shrugged it off, me that I’m tired. Uncle eat and rest it’s no big deal. That’s how it turned into a war of words. Literally gbas gbos. And this is not us we don’t insult each other. I said something along the lines of “I’ve been out all day working I’m tired” he replied something like “I’m the jobless one at home doing nothing” and that’s how it continued for like 5 mins till I heard the Holy Spirit say “bunmi, stop ✋🏽 get on your knees RIGHT NOW” without any why should I? What did I do wrong? I’m the one in the right! I got on my knees. The look in my husband’s face changed. Omg no Bunmi get up get up. I started crying 😭 baby I’m sorry.. in that moment that learnt exactly what Paul said “marriage is not the place to fight for your rights”.

I want to stress the importance of believing in your man and not putting him under pressure. I’ve heard women say I don’t care how you do it you must provide for the home. πŸ‘€ aunty SURUUUUUU

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