Are You Struggling With Gossips? Here Is One Phrase That Can Shut It Down

Every single one of us gossips because we simply can’t help but talk about things and people. More so, the minute you start sharing the juicy tidbits of happenings at work, school or your colleagues relationships, it is usually hard to stop.

Psychologists have studied the societal uses of gossip—learning from others’ mistakes, knowing who to avoid, and developing social rules—but there’s no denying that gossip can be just plain hurtful.

Spreading a malicious rumour doesn’t just hurt the subject of the gossip, but it can also make person gossiping look bad in a rude and immature way. Talk badly about people too often, and your reputation of being a rumormonger will make others stop trusting you.

Resisting the temptation to bring up dubious rumours or badmouthing other people is hard enough, without having to talk to a group of gossips. Sometimes people start saying something benign, and someone makes a comment that initiates a full-blown gossip session. If your conscience tells you the subjects of the discussion may have reservations about what you are saying, it may be time to bring the conversation to a close.

When someone you are discussing with is launching into an offensive story about someone you know, the best tactic to shut things down is to ask why they’re telling you.

That will be their first alert that you’re not happy with the discussion. They will probably say they just thought you’d be curious, but you can shut the conversation down by showing you don’t want to talk about it. “Say, ‘I don’t appreciate it—let’s change the subject’ or ‘that’s my friend, and I won’t listen to someone badmouthing them.’”

After this, you can try changing the topic to a safer choice, like travel plans or current events. If the person goes back to dishing dirt, your body language can make it clear you don’t want to hear the gossip. Cross your arms, and give a firm look that says you’re not interested.

If you are letting them know ‘wow I don’t want to hear this’ and looking around like you want to get out fast, they’re going to get the message, and change the topic. Not smiling and nodding will pass the message on.